The Old Cop

The old cop died and to St. Peter he went,

not sure of the direction he was about to be sent.

St. Peter Said, “What have you done to go up from here.”

Old cop said, “I was a Marine once. I stood straight and tall,
then that Asian war came along and now one liked me at all.”

 St. Peter said, “Did you elect to turn the other cheek?”

The former Marine said, “No, I just beat that long haired, dope smoking freak.”

 St. Peter responded, “That’s not good. Tell me a little more

and we’ll see if we can’t find a way through that precious door.”
Old cop said, “I went to college and became an officer of the law. My peers liked me.
Some said I was a good cop. But the problem was I never missed a shot.”

 St. Peter stopped right where he stood,

“You mean you killed a man? That’s not good.”
Old cop replied,” Well, there was only one or two.”
You could clearly see St. Peter now turning blue.

 St. Peter sat down and quietly said, “Even God would understand one bad guy being dead.”

Old cop looked worried because he didn’t want to lie.
He said quickly, “I think only one of them died.”

St. Peter now annoyed. We’ve got a problem and I don’t know what to do.

You came highly recommended from all you’ve been through.

St. Peter reached in his pocket and retrieved his little black book.

It says here your wife was as pure as the wind driven snow.
Old cop said, “Yes. The first one was and then she asked me to go.”

St. Peter said, “How many wives have you had?”

Old cop replied, “More than one and the rest weren’t half bad.”

St. Peter now exhausted and the line was getting long.

I gotta put you somewhere, but I don’t know where you belong.”
The old cop now trying to help St. Peter out, “I have to be honest.
I never could make that good turn about.”

So just send me to Hell and when I get there

I can tell all my friends St. Peter’s damn fair.